@jdbalani: Define Marriage: It's a way through which two people join together to solve the problems they never had before.
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@carlyken: My 8 told me he likes Skillrex because it sounds like what Transformers would sound like if they quit saving the world and formed a band.
@blondecalamity: Invention: When your heart stops beating, your smartphone and laptop instantaneously explode. PATENT PENDING!!
@ElleOhHell: "We're a completely paperless office." Wow, that's really cool. [Later, staring at iPad dispenser in bathroom] Well this sucks.
@Midgetspar: I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you ... even you.