@joeveix: Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
@TragicAllyHere: Groom: Dude, the invitation was for Gandalf the Grey. Gandalf: Oh, it's Gandalf the White now. Bride: [fuming] Gandalf: [looks fabulous]
@Tmoney68: Son: When did u know you were old? Me: When I started saying 'congratulations' to friends who said they were pregnant instead of 'oh shit.'