@omgthatspunny: Definition of a Will: It's a dead giveaway.
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@juneohara65: The conditions inside my car have drawn attention from my boyfriend, my mother, and the Center for Disease Control.
@AnkCoupleTO: Me: [stands under majestic tree watching leaves fall] This is beautiful [2 hours later buried under a mountain of leaves] you piece of shit
@CuddleYourCat: If you piss me off bad enough and tell me to leave you alone, I will take 30 Adderall and send you cat pictures every 3 minutes for 6 days.
@duumb: me: [teary eyed] if anything ever happened to you i would kill myself her: ur kinda weird for a surgeon