@iamk1ts: Definition of Rap Songs: Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
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@iwearaonesie: me: Do you think Muhammad Ali tried different animals? Like, "Float like a duck, sting like a jellyfish"? wife: Go to sleep
@TheMichaelRock: The best part about Christmas Eve is when grandma gets drunk and tries to fight everyone.
@michel_lesann: 10 years of ninja training, and now all I use it for is to quietly unwrap candies when the kids are in the other room.
@summerofbenny: Did a little math tonight. Need to do 3,527 hours of cardio to get down to my ideal weight by summer, and not consume any calories.