@suruhh: delete cookies? WHY ON EARTH WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?! I LOVE COOKIES.
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@noog: *notices battery is at 4%* *goes into airplane mode* *turns down brightness* *exits all apps* *prays to jesus and compliments his sandals*
@notacroc: [date] Her: so you're a mathematician? Me: no actually I'm a *pythagorean doves fly out of my sleeve and hit her in the face* mathemagician
@MamaFizzles: I kept my whole house clean for three days. But then I felt like my kids had been locked in that closet long enough.