@daemonic3: Demi Lovato is my favorite singer that is half human, half Lovato
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@Jay1972Jay: My son, who is 10, just explained that the things he did when he was 7 no longer reflect the person that he is now. I need a drink.
@errdayhustlah: My kid sat on the floor of a public restroom, so I had to throw him away and now I have to make a new one. Parenting is hard, you guys.
@mrsmith196645: Nothing scares me more than when my husband answers me and I'm left wondering just how much he's actually been listening.
@Mom_Overboard: [during sex] Him: punish me, baby me: *tells him everything I had to eat that day* Him: wait, stop me: hang on *hands him the phone* my mom wants to talk to you Him: *dies*