@ozzyunc: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, & acceptance: the five stages of watching them put lettuce on your sandwich at Subway.
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@SuSuSuDonym: Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.
@FrogAvalanche:  One smoker left in the world. The Quit Smoking ads get personal. HEY KEVIN, STOP SMOKING. YOU STINK. YOUR WIFE SAYS YOU NEED VIAGRA.
@jennyjaffe: "Tender and mild" is a great way to describe chicken and a TERRIBLE way to describe a holy infant.
@Marlebean: Oops, I "accidentally" left my in-laws at the grocery store. Darn. I guess I'll just have to get them Monday on the way back to the airport.