@markleggett: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. These are the five stages of learning that Ben Affleck is the new Batman.
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@DanMentos: “Hello, 912” wait did u say 912? “yup” I meant to dial 911 “happens all the time” lol I’m such a goof “haha right?” my neighbor got stabbed
@krismuscookie: The WHICHING hour: when I lay awake in the wee hours labouring over which comebacks I should have used in every argument I've ever had.