@markleggett: Despite hating tomatoes, I was a tomato in a school play. I put my personal beliefs aside and nailed the role because I was a professional.
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@seancoleran: Girlfriend: Why is this broom broken? Did you draw a lightning bolt on the cat? Are you writing with a feather? Me: Muggles....
@cluedont: BBC: 'Much of Scotland's coastline still being battered.' They will literally deep fry anything.
@TrueTorontoGirl: Boss: Have I made myself clear? Me: No, I can still see you. Boss: Shakes head.