@markleggett: Despite hating tomatoes, I was a tomato in a school play. I put my personal beliefs aside and nailed the role because I was a professional.
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@SardonicTart: Him: *hands me glass of clear liquid* Is this glass half full or half empty? Me: Is that water or vodka? Him: Vodka. Me: Empty.
@JCWisdomNuggets: Server: Want one of our famous milkshakes? Me: Well, I saw your yard and it was empty. Server: Huh? Me: No boys. Server: Huh? Me: No thanks.
@pleatedjeans: Fun way to prank Jesus is to invite him snorkeling haha he'd be stuck on top walking on the water while ur underneath having all the fun