@markleggett: Despite hating tomatoes, I was a tomato in a school play. I put my personal beliefs aside and nailed the role because I was a professional.
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@CatsVsHumanity: Damn, my printer is needy af. Always asking for more paper or more ink. I give and give and then it tells me it doesn't think we have a connection.
@TurboJellyBean: Her:"my blinkers don't work I think I'm out of blinker fluid" Me:"your car doesn't have blinker fluid." Her:"I JUST SAID THAT PAY ATTENTION"
@BadJokeCat: Dear student loan, thank you for saving my life. I can't think how I can ever repay you.
@TheTobbie: My mind: "Today was a productive day." My body: "Please don't drink 11 cups of coffee again."...