@RidiculousSheri: Despite its deceivingly yummy smell, this bar of oatmeal almond soap tastes just like soap.
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@handokotjung: How to be happier: 1. Exercise 2. Lift weight 3. When you've become stronger due to those exercises, smack the person who made you unhappy.
@MenHumor: Dear McDonald's, Thank you for not selling hot dogs. I don't think I could order a McWiener with a straight face.
@shanethevein: Cop said that it's illegal for me to have flashing lights & siren on my car. I looked at his car and said are you going to arrest yourself?