@RidiculousSheri: Despite its deceivingly yummy smell, this bar of oatmeal almond soap tastes just like soap.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheTweetOfGod: People often say things in the heat of anger that in hindsight they regret not accompanying with a punch in the face.
@ericacanrant: If your partner makes you sleep closest to the door, you are either the protector or bait for the zombies.
@trojansauce: [me on my death bed after being trampled at a one direction concert] please tell people it was auto erotic asphyxiation
@EndhooS: Wife: He's always rewriting the past.. Therapist: is this true? Me: [doesn't hear because I'm typing 'Shrek killed Hitler' into Wikipedia]