@peetiesays: Diamond engagement rings are so last year. Ask for her hand in marriage by presenting her with a full tank of gas.
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@iamledgin: Hey, guy in Prius blasting heavy metal - decide which type of annoying person you want to be.
@SideOfWine: Just as bugs are drawn to bright lights, so are my toes drawn inexplicably to hard objects.
@torrami: Dragons aren't evil; they're just upset that they can't enjoy Popsicles and other frozen treats.