@peetiesays: Diamond engagement rings are so last year. Ask for her hand in marriage by presenting her with a full tank of gas.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@amishschool: Did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for eleven minutes.
@causticbob: I was kicked out of a strip club last night for throwing twenty quid at one of the strippers. Ok, I admit it was in pound coins.
@PhilLaysheO: If a cougar left her teeth next to my bed in a glass of water was that a tip? Do I have to change the water? Do I feed them like goldfish?
@ArfMeasures: [1st day at work] BOSS: Erm..we..have No Smoking rules here ME: That's great Alan [blows out smoke] most places have loads of smoking rules