@summerofbenny: Did a little math tonight. Need to do 3,527 hours of cardio to get down to my ideal weight by summer, and not consume any calories.
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@Michael1979: If you fear that a giraffe has killed your wife and stolen her identity, these are the signs to look out for:
@o__0Dev: Clearly the people that design refrigerators don't know me if they think 1 tiny cheese drawer & 2 giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.
@InternetHippo: “What attracted you to our company?” Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work