@summerofbenny: Did a little math tonight. Need to do 3,527 hours of cardio to get down to my ideal weight by summer, and not consume any calories.
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@Brentweets: CNN got really excited about the #TransAsia plane until they found out it's not missing so now they don't care.
@RumAndReeses: My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass.
@TheFearBoners: I wouldn't let you touch me with a 10 foot pole! No seriously, why do you have a 10 foot pole?! THAT'S NOT NORMAL!