@SeanINCypress: Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
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@ArfMeasures: MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE
@sarahyehia82: Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
@MomOnFire: H: Something's wrong with you. M: Yes. H: No, like for real. M: Yes, I told you that from day one. H: But you were kidding... M: Haha, no.
@Cheeseboy22: I love my wife dearly, but she just used the word "whatevs" for the first time, so 17 years. It's been a good run.