@SeanINCypress: Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
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@mjkspeaks: [shopping] May I help you find something? “Where are the giants?“ What? “Your sign outside says there’s a giant sale.“
@TweetPotato314: Me: Sorry I’m late, I was trying to jump my wife’s car for like half an hour. Boss: Need a new battery? Me: No, I just think I need better shoes.
@LostFelicia: People that use abbreviations like ppl, wyd, hmu, and idk - what do you do with all that time you saved?