@jasonmustian: "Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven and lost the use of your legs?"--bad pick-up line to use on a handicapped person
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@Brampersandon_: [sees a meathead at the gym flipping a giant tire end over end] ME: Put it on its side and it'll roll, idiot
@hereholddeez: SAW 14: HELLO JIMMY I WANT TO PLAY A GAME THE DOOR IS 10FT AWAY THE FLOOR IS COVERED IN LEGOS YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHERE YOUR SHOES ARE
@Jennarater: Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid-air I would probably eat it.