@ShawnGarrett: Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more.
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@earthfalcon33: PRANK: ask someone what's on their shirt and when they look down give them a perm
@vladchoc: Why should I have to take a first aid course? Why is this on me? Why don't you take a "how to eat sandwiches without choking" course?
@WildeThingy: Louis Lane "there is no way broccoli is a superfood!" Broccoli *takes spectacles off* Louis Lane "My God! Look, it's a superfood!"
@neiltyson: What would aliens say if told that Earthlings shift clocks by an hour to fool themselves into thinking there's more sunlight