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@pakalupapito: did u fall from heaven bc so did satan
@madamezooble: Hey! Welcome to Urban Outfitters. Are you a baby-sized woman or a woman-sized man?
@dlockw21: My lighter has two settings:
1: Spark, spark, spark
2: No left eyebrow
@causticbob: vegan witches, happy halloween!
@Audenary: DAD: Think an earthquake's coming.
MOM: Check Rocky; dogs always know.
DOG *analysing seismic data*: I anticipate magnitudes of 6 or more.
@LackOfShame: [their last appetizer]
Her: I don't want it. You have it.
Him: I don't want it either, you...
Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it