@RandiLawson: Did U hear they're remaking 'Dirty Dancing' & Miley Cyrus is gonna play the abortion.
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@SoulYodeler: Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me, I won't say a word about your "wenital werpes" *winks*
@tonyhawk: girl at restaurant: "Are you Tony Hawk?" me: "Yes." her: "Why?" I had no idea how to answer.
@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: Why do I have to share a room? Me: It could be worse. Harry Potter slept in a cupboard under the stairs. 6: Yeah. By himself.