@SunshineJarboly: Did you ever ask your parents what went wrong, people named Lasagna?
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@EndhooS: Do you know how fast you were going sir? "15,000mph?" Wha? No,like 65? "Seems pretty slow wouldn't you say?" I guess so. "Ok bye" bye?
@stephenjmolloy: Mafia boss: "I want him swimming with the fishes!" *later at the coral reef* Me: "This is amazing!" Mafia boss: "Anything for you."
@bornmiserable: Guys who say there's a party in their pants are probably referring to search parties.