@SunshineJarboly: Did you ever ask your parents what went wrong, people named Lasagna?
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@Robert_Beau: I just released a new fragrance, and the people on this elevator are not happy about it.
@jake_likes_naps: [Ouija board] "Hey spirits, talk to us" W H A T S U R F R I E N D S N A M E H E S C U T E "fml"
@FattMernandez: My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
@scorpicpanda: 5: "I went to Banana Land. The bananas danced & had flowers & tiny pandas on their heads." Me: "I'll have whatever that kid's having."