@SunshineJarboly: Did you ever ask your parents what went wrong, people named Lasagna?
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@LoveNLunchmeat: You'd be surprised how much of parenting is reminding your children not to eat soup with their hands.
@mexinonblonde: *crawls towards him gets between his legs and asks* What do you want? Him-Whatever you want. Me-*gets a bowl of ice cream and turns on tv*
@notalogin: *Giant boulder slowly crushes several hundred cats* Guy who's about to invent the bagpipes: Hey, this gives me an idea!
@DurtMcHurtt: When I die, I want my decaying carcass to be loaded into a giant slingshot and flung into a rich kids bouncy castle.