@TheDairylandDon: Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: "Katherine Heigl movies."
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@dubstep4dads: i bet the first guy to say "smooth as a babies bottom" wasnt the most respected man in the community
@daemonic3: [interview] So what makes you qualified to be an x-ray technician? Superman: Are you being serious right now?
@FrenulumBreve: [Witness Protection Program] So the more ordinary, mundane your new name is, the easier it'll be to blend into your new- BUBBLENUTS McFUNKY!
@Aspersioncast: Annoy your wife by saying “wow” every time a chick gets out of the limo on The Bachelor.