@TheDairylandDon: Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: "Katherine Heigl movies."
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@TheAlexP: Sometimes when I get a compliment I stop, moonwalk out of the room and yell "Thank You "just to leave them hanging.
@Try2StopME: I had a pretty confused childhood because I thought obituaries are actually advertisements selling dead people.
@novicefather: [interview] "Describe yourself in 5 words." me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant.
@JDBooie: Instead of a sock on your door, hang a doughnut. Not only is Doughnut Disturb hilarious, you provide a snack for your now homeless roommate.