@TheDairylandDon: Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: "Katherine Heigl movies."
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@Karissajem: Nephew: Wouldn't it be cool to breathe fire like a dragon? Me:*drinking gin straight from the bottle* We're about to find out, kid.
@ninjadinosaur1: have a nail gun and some boards laying around? show him you love him by adding some attractive wood paneling to his car
@sofarrsogud: [Watching Star Trek with my date] ME: *leans in* It's called Star Trek but the stars don't actually go anywhere.
@JaneEJuanita: A Spanish friend working in UK happily for years reply to taunts re being kicked out: "Well, I can choose 27 other countries; you can't"