@TheDairylandDon: Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: "Katherine Heigl movies."
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: The "walk of shame" should be going to a bar the next morning after being drunk looking for your lost debit card.
@sgtblueeyes: Jesus walks on water and everyone is impressed. I walk on water and I'm seriously concerned about this ice breaking...
@weinerdog4life: If you beat a man with a mustache in a fist fight, you get to keep his mustache.
@3sunzzz: [first day in prison] "I need to speak to management. There is no way I can use this generic bar soap on my face."