@DrawingShadows: Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
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@daemonic3: [trying to impress fiancée's entire family] Waiter: Your bill for- Oh I got it! [looks at bill & spits wine] WHO ORDERED THE "SUBTOTAL"?!?
@ItsAndyRyan: Me: Do you ever feel like you're an imposter? Psychiatrist: Get out of my chair Me: Interesting *writes 'thinks he's the psychiatrist'*
@donofalltrades1: If you named your kid Hunter because you like to hunt, then I hate you. Who names a kid after an activity?. *Storms off w/ his son, Kegger
@ericsshadow: My fashion sense has been described as "They probably won't let you in like that" and "Are those your pajamas?"