@msdanifernandez: Did you guys hear about the football player who hits women? No the other one. No the other one.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: My debate style is more like Teddy Roosevelt. I carry a big stick in one hand, a sword in the other, and wait for you to agree.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: I’ve finally adjusted to daylight savings time WIFE: really ME: really WIFE: *takes cat out of fridge* ME: *stops petting the milk*
@mommy_cusses: *takes picture of son putting ornament on the tree* Okay, now give that back to mommy and don't touch another one, okay?