@zachreinert03: Did you guys know on average 3 confused cannibals get punched in the face a year because they say yes to wanting a knuckle sandwich
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@valenty__: Leo: *names his child Oscar* Doctor: "Would you like to hol-" Leo: "Say it like we rehearsed it." Doctor: *sighs* "And the Oscar goes to..."
@Sickayduh: "911 what's your emergency?" - I've been catfished by a dozen men "We're on our way" - Gonna arrest them? "Gonna shut off your internet"
@slimmy_shady: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them?