@omgthatspunny: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
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@Fickle_Filly: It's rude to upstage the bride on her wedding day but that's exactly what's going to happen when I burst into flames as I enter the church.
@tomcashgent: Noah had a younger brother called Rick who just built a speedboat and saved 9 cheetahs
@caliluvgirl77: Boyfriend: you want to go see the new Star Wars? Me: I LOVE STAR WARS BF: which was your fav Me: duh, Sorcerer's Stone