@omgthatspunny: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bea_ker: Hey man, settle an argument for me? "Sure" [handing him a sword] Great, he's just in there
@Rollinintheseat: If we could harness the fake enthusiasm put towards wishing people a happy birthday on Facebook, we could power half the planet.
@WilliamRodgers: The rest of you just need to get fat because I don't feel like going to the gym anymore...