@Fred_Delicious: Did you just call me a boombox? Eugh that's such a stereotype
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@oakhillbargrill: Instead of a tweet up, I think all the twitter crushes should get together for a weekend in the mountains You know... A Couples Retweet
@PersianCeltic: Anything I have ever learned about One Direction, The Kardashians and Taylor Swift has been completely against my will.
@Reverend_Scott: [1692 Salem] "BURN THE WITCH" U HAVE A CROOKED NOSE, WITCH "No, Frank, at the stake" [quickly lighting torch] Right, I knew that.
@RealSamHarwood: A homeless man randomly asked me if I was from Minnesota yesterday, so I replied, "no, but once I stabbed a guy who grew up in Minneapolis"