@Fred_Delicious: Did you just call me a boombox? Eugh that's such a stereotype
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@ElKnuckelhombre: Wife: Have you seen my curling iron? Me: ...umm, are you talking about the hotdog bun warmer? Wife: ... Me: No, I have not seen it.
@MeatyPunk: girl: tough guys are hot Me: *hawk lands on my bare arm* I have a gauntlet I just never use it *hawk gnawing on my shoulder* I love this
@HonestToddler: Toilet won't stop throwing up. I didn't know it was Legos intolerant. SEND HELP THIS IS NOT A DRILL