@Fred_Delicious: Did you just call me a boombox? Eugh that's such a stereotype
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@WritePlay: *burglar breaks in* *i reach into my nightstand drawer, get my phone, & take his picture* Burglar: No I have a double chin! Me: I'll post it
@Jaywoo74: Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She's had a headache for the past 15 years.
@AnOrangeSNES: The chef asked me how I liked my eggs and I accidentally said uneasy instead of over easy. Now I have some uncomfortable eggs staring at me.