@KevinFarzad: Did you know a falling cat ALWAYS lands in a single person's apartment?
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@GoddessTitty: [Home invasion] Me: isn't there anything ELSE you want to take? Burglar: lady I told you I'm married
@Sanbel11: - Are you even listening to me? - Of course I am - Ok, what did I just ask you? - If I'm listening to you
@daemonic3: Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: I'll outlaw shredded cheese and only sell blocks Why? TRUMP: To make America grate again