@WheelTod: Did you know if you weigh yourself, then take a dump, then weigh the dump & weigh yourself again, you'll be banned from Walgreens for life?
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@TheGoodGodAbove: The only way Congress will ever pass common sense gun control is if they're threatened at gunpoint
@JosesLovesYou: I remember back in the day when you had to roll up a tiny scroll and give it to a falcon to tweet
@PaperWash: angel: they seem to be doing well God: give them more diseases angel: is that really necess- God: and social anxiety and kill a gorilla
@QwertyJones3: "I'm usually closed off. But if you get close to me, you'll find that I'll really open up." -Automatic sliding doors