@TheWoodenslurpy: Did you know that if you drop and break a piece of folk art, it just turns into more folk art?
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@panmidwest: [Walk into a Cat Cafe] Me-I've never eaten cat. What do you recommend? Lady-They're for adopting not eating M-Oh, well can I adopt one? L-No
@SatansTongue: There's something I should tell you... "Oh god what is it" I have crabs "NOOO" *holds up two crabs* "Oh I thought you meant-" And HIV "NOOO"
@Mr_Kapowski: Just a typical Sunday morning of going on and writing Amazon reviews for cheese graters rating them low and saying "not good toys for kids"