@JohnHilsen: Did you know that Mark Zuckerberg and the guy who played the blue Power Ranger are cousins? Just not to each other. But they are cousins.
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@SheBanggs: It's cute how they show subtitles during Here Comes Honey Boo Boo & pretend that anyone watching might actually know how to read.
@gojarbe: me: wanna see my cat's shed? friend: lots of cats shed. why would-- [my cat enters wearing a tool belt] cat: show him the gazebo, too
@SteveSackington: If your mother in law and your father in law were both engulfed in flames, and you only had one fire extinguisher, where would you hide it?
@juliussharpe: People with Bluetooth headsets always look like the least important people you could possibly call.