@KattWillliams: Did you know that the new iPhone 5 helps people lose weight? When you pay for it you can't afford to eat for a month.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sal0630: I was close to becoming a rap god. But then 1 day my mom licked her thumb to wipe a smudge off my face as a kid & ruined all my street cred.
@DumbConfessions: *starts throwing a fit* Iron man: Here. Eat a Snickers. Doctor Banner: Thanks, bro.
@ericsshadow: ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess ME: i sell human organs on the black market JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more
@Underchilde: Bring spoiled food to work enough and your coworkers eventually stop eating anything with your name on it.