@Gentlemenhood: Did you know when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend your arm and punch them in the face.
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@jdforshort: I'm just a girl trying to keep up with a guy on my Fitbit challenge who may be walking out more sexual frustration than me
@MableGertrude: Friend: It looks like you're packing to go on an extended vacation. Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii? Me: No, this is just my lunch.
@torrami: My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus