@Gentlemenhood: Did you know when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend your arm and punch them in the face.
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@murrman5: Hello 911. "He's back what do I do?" Brent? "Yes" It's the just the mailman remember "Ok, sorry." Bye "Wait, he put something in my mailbo
@Cpez38: *points w/ middle finger* "Sure, take this road for about another mile, pull over & go ask someone else" - Me giving directions.
@TheAlexP: Rapunzel is my favorite story about a girl who would do anything to have her hair pulled.
@Brampersandon_: [office meeting] BOSS: Printer ink is costing us a ton. Any ideas on how to cut costs? SQUID: *looks up from phone* Why y'all lookin' at me?