@kumailn: Did you know: Wi-Fi is short for "wireless fireless." Pre-wi-fi all internet was fire based. Firewall, firewire, "fire up the computer" etc.
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@AGStr8upNinja: If I had the power to control people's minds like Professor Xavier I'd probably just make them get me snacks.
@jackiembouvier: Friend: I'm getting married! Me: Have you considered just letting a homeless man sleep on your couch, instead?
@jeffswarens: Talking on your cell during church isn't good, but if you use blue tooth hands free they just think you've got the spirit.