@AaronFullerton: Did you know you can actually WIN Instagram by taking a picture of your feet next to your dinner at sunset?
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@EJT___: I wanted a 6 pack, so I started Hip Hop abs. Quit 1/3 of the way through. Ended up with a 2Pac.
@infamousone96: You tell me to "walk a mile in your shoes" but the second I break into your house to steal your shoes, you call the cops. Make up your mind.
@jake_likes_naps: [in hospital] son: what happened dad me: bar fight son: over what? me: he said... *clenches fists* he said Zelda is a boy