@weinerdog4life: Did you know you can just buy live lobsters? Anyway can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters
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@JediGigi: Him: You need to work on your communication skills Me: [through megaphone right up in his face] PLEASE BE MORE SPECIFIC
@Sassafrantz: Every Thanksgiving I say my boyfriend broke up with me so my family lets me overeat without shame.
@BoutCrazed: "I'm frying some fish for supper, so yall come over & eat" is what I said. "You're also gonna be helping me move my piano" is what I meant.