@Inconsteveable: "Did you realise that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes" and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same?"
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@AGStr8upNinja: I purposely park three feet away from the drive thru window so Mcdonalds employees can get in their daily stretches.
@filthybeggar1: People who put "Retired" on their Linked In acct: I'm not certain you've grasped the site.
@SteveSuckington: [high school] Teacher: do u have your homework? Ryan Lochte: I was murdered last night