@cray_at_home_ma: Didn't realize how much motherhood had changed me until I army crawled in & out of my sleeping baby's room to get my 1/2 cup of cold coffee.
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@madeleinesweet: *on the subway* CUTE GUY: [mouths “hi”] PRETTY GIRL: [mouths “hi” back] ME, IN BETWEEN THEM: [exaggeratedly mouths "YOU GUYS LIKE HOTDOGS"]
@dafloydsta: When a coworker says "This is all Greek to me", I always assume they want me to punch them right in their throatopolis.
@XAIMMadellynne: Was looking at smoking pipes on Amazon & realized that CW could look at my history.So,I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.