@cray_at_home_ma: Didn't realize how much motherhood had changed me until I army crawled in & out of my sleeping baby's room to get my 1/2 cup of cold coffee.
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@TheToddWilliams: I know it's International Women's Day but I'd like to give a shout out to all the national and local women as well.
@FreudsTwin: I was up all night wondering, if you get fired at the Unemployment Office, do you just switch to the other side of the desk?
@ieatanddrink: Dating tip: Walk up to a girl in a club, smile, look into her eyes, take her hand and walk away. If she wants her hand back, she'll find you
@ch000ch: ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know