@topaz_kell: [getting murdered]
Me: "Could you please stop for a second?"
*gives murderer a Snickers
@NotBachibawlz: Someday astronauts will land on the sun ....
Im hoping they're smart enough to do this at nighttime when it's not as hot
@MuttCutts: "Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there.
@dafloydsta: Benefits of dating me:
1. You're the smart one
@MarylandMudflap: Slowly crawl towards your sleeping dog, put your face directly next to its face, and whisper "I know it's been you shitting in my yard."
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