@MrJeremyHorn: So apparently I've been Googling 'Asian Prom' this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren't going to bang.

@pixelatedboat: Kids, if you want to succeed in journalism the way to do it is to suck at your job in a way that's useful to rich people

@LinajkReturns: Before you unleash her inner goddess, try to find out if she's channeling Aphrodite or Medusa.

@matt___nelson: CHINA: how can we fix our economic problems??? GERMANY: how do we reestablish our engineering reputation??? USA: OH MY GOD RAT WITH A PIZZA

@0point5twins: "Do you want to play doctors and nurses?" *flirty giggle* "ok..." "I'm a specialist. The earliest I can see you is May next year"