@DrRocktopoid: Die Hard VIII: Die Even More Harder: Mostest Harderest.
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@ArfMeasures: ME: A man stole my phone and rode away on a horse COP: Ok [opens notebook] can you give a description? ME: It's like a big, fast dog
@Dutch_50: I found a bat in my basement & my first reaction was to run to the door so the light could get in, because I saw it done in a vampire movie.
@ShockTartBionic: I'm like Jason Bourne, only I'm not looking for exits in each room.. I'm looking for outlets & phone chargers.
@notnuthin: old lady: that's not necessary me: [installing twitter on her phone] look lady i carried your bags, the least u can do is follow me online