@mydmac: Diet day 1
I have removed all the bad food from the house.
It was delicious.
@dire_beard: Snow White: Someday my prince will come
Prince Charming: I swear this has never happened before
@jonnysun: whenever i watch the tv show Friends, i imagine im the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him
@RoosterMustache: Assert dominance over your boss by choosing an elevator button higher than the one he picked & act like its a big deal to wait for his floor
@BoyCalledAnn: In Australia, nah-yeah means yes, yeah-nah means no and nah-nah means banana.
@thenatewolf: Wu-Tang is my favorite 15 person rap group and reaction to a beverage.