@mydmac: Diet day 1
I have removed all the bad food from the house.
It was delicious.
@AndyKindler: "I heard you were responsible for like 30 million deaths. That's crazy." Jimmy Fallon interviewing Stalin
@Book_Krazy: [Dinner date]
I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl, so I guess I'm kinda a momgirl
"You mean tomgirl?"
Don't talk with your mouth full.
@MaryKoCo: "How crazy is your ex? Crazy like my triceps?" "How sick is your mother? Sick like my triceps?"
@Reverend_Scott: How's school, Hannah?
"Really tough, dad."
They're calling you Hannah Banana, aren't they?
WHY THE HELL NOT
@thepunningman: Ikea said if they catch me stealing any more kitchen utensils I'll be banned for life. But I'm willing to take the whisk.