@IamEnidColeslaw: diet tip: eat all your meals in front of a industrial fan
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@Brampersandon_: [infomercial] ME: wanna know how to lose 15 lbs with 1 easy trick?! AUDIENCE: YES! *a surgeon amputates my leg right there on stage*
@Eightinchgoat: *Pulls your panties to the side* *Tries to remember how I even ended up wearing your panties*
@Ideal_Victoria: Ok, seriously men... You can't hear yourselves snoring, but the slightest crinkle of a chip bag, and you're suddenly wide awake?!