@o__0Dev: Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
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@Mr57percent: The older I get, the more I feel like the town elders in Footloose were actually pretty cool.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My Roomba sucked up some cocaine & cleaned the entire house in 5 mins. Now my jewelry's missing & the Roomba's trying to bang the blender.
@HallpassCanada: Adults with big round heads have kids with big round heads so for god sakes please try to date outside your head shape.