@o__0Dev: Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
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@Death_Buddy: *walks outside* Its real quiet.. Almost too quiet. *looks around* *lights BBQ* *1000 Dads emerge from nowhere giving generic BBQ advice*
@ItsAndyRyan: [Library] MAN: Do you have books on fire? LIBRARIAN: Yes, in the Chemistry section MAN: Come on boys! *Swarms of firemen enter with hoses*
@ElKnuckelhombre: I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.