@Kauaibride: diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don't wear any.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kellysdf: Sailors have the reputation, but nobody cusses like a mom who just found out school is closed.
@TEXASVETERAN: I just read a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you love Satan." Sent from iPhone.
@Maxine12339: Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
@mjkspeaks: Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.