@Kauaibride: diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don't wear any.
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@daemonic3: This year I'm the Invisible Man for Halloween, according to this bartender that apparently hasn't seen me standing here for an hour
@PaulyPeligroso: "Oh, hey! I didn't even recognize you!" means "I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are."
@AbbyHasIssues: I've never wanted to know the answer to anything bad enough to ask a question at the end of a meeting that's running 30 minutes over time.