@darkmatter_wimp: *dims the lights so you look like your selfies*
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@CoreyKeyz: Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then.
@iwearaonesie: So important your wife knows you're petting the dog when she hears you say "you're getting a little chunky"
@iYoungKhalifa: Saw a man at the beach screaming, "SAVE ME..I'm drowning". I instantly uploaded his pic, captioned "1 like = 100 prayers" on facebook..!!