@darkmatter_wimp: *dims the lights so you look like your selfies*
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@AndrewChamings: In a coffee shop ask the person next to you to watch your laptop, but don’t leave. Put on netflix and binge spongebob with your new pal.
@BackrowSeats: When I watch The Walking Dead I can't help but think those zombies are in way better shape than me.
@hipstermermaid: 1886: We invented a car! 1903: We invented a plane! 1969: We went to the moon! ... ... ... ... ... ... 2015: Taco Emoji!