@seriouslyemily: Dipping your cats in blue paint and watching them chase each other is 1000x more entertaining than Avatar.
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@TheAlexNevil: Death: You'll see me eventually. Me: Or *will* I? D: Uh, yes, you absolutely will. I've got you scheduled. M: Or "do" you? D: Stop that.
@mrdaveturner: There's a woman reading the bible on the tube. Fighting the urge to lean over to her and say "He dies at the end".
@krisv_723: *Gets called into HR Me: What was I accused of now? HR: I haven't had any sexual harassment claims against you lately. Is everything ok?