@seriouslyemily: Dipping your cats in blue paint and watching them chase each other is 1000x more entertaining than Avatar.
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@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [at BBQ] Wow...trying to wrap my mouth around this bratwurst reminds me of my first high school boyfriend. He hated bratwurst.
@thenatewolf: Me: I know you from somewhere Jesus: I get that a lot Me: no I'm sure Jesus: just one of those faces Me: [holding arms out] go like this
@WilliamAder: To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
@my_minivan_life: Just discovered my 7yo wearing his underwear backwards again. Playing classical music while pregnant is bullshit.