@KevinFarzad: It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I'm trying to do that & you're lowering my chances.
@DadandBuried: My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you're not allowed to use them.
Because nothing says CLASS like useless towels.
@YesThatAmy: Define "no more Twitter or I will leave you."
@Book_Krazy: *Breaks glass to steal Mona Lisa*
You crazy? Security will hear us
Security: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE?
NOTHING
Security: ALRIGHT
@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the mall screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.
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