@somecleverthing: discontinue use and talk to your doctor if you experience death, as this may be a sign of a more serious condition.
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@theevilwriter: HR says that we are no longer able to say to anyone "if ignorance is bliss you must be such a happy person" even if we smile as we say it.
@stephenjmolloy: Me with megaphone: "COME DOWN FROM THERE. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR." Man: "I'm fixing your roof tiles, remember?" Me: "I FORGOT!"
@10InchesPlus: *sees oven left on "What moron left the oven on!?" *tries repeatedly to turn it off "WTF!? Stupid oven!" *realizes 425 is the time