@somecleverthing: discontinue use and talk to your doctor if you experience death, as this may be a sign of a more serious condition.
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@thesarahthing: "I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you were driving your truck around the Walmart parking lot trying to find your truck."
@causticbob: Someone broke into my house last night and left a note saying they'd broken one of my keyboard keys. I onder hich one.
@LaceyNycole: Meteorologist: According to our facts, we'll have a longer winter- People: LET THE GROUNDHOG DECIDE Meterologist: But science People: NO
@BellesJar: Everybody thinks Australians are laid back until one of us is standing over you with a chainsaw asking you to pronounce Aluminium correctly.