@WilliamAder: Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it.
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@TheDizzyBeauty: When I'm texting, I start typing faster when i see you're typing too. Oh, IT'S ON!! #amazingrace
@murrman5: [during ultrasound] wife: I really thought you were the father me: how could you do this to me? wife's grey and black lover: I told y'all
@Brianhopecomedy: "Doctor, is the baby healthy?" "Yes Kanye, and just so you know I was the first one to hold her." "Huh?" *Ray-J pulls off surgical mask