@WilliamAder: Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it.
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@50NerdsofGrey: 'Tell me you want me' he ordered. 'I want you' she said. 'Now tell me you need me.' 'I need you' she sighed. She hated calling tech support.
@Kyle_Lippert: [A bengals fan watching Titanic] I can't wait until the end when Jack and Rose get married
@SteveSuckington: [2 guys at open mic night] What are we gonna name our band? [from crowd] look at the one guys hair! LMFAO *they look at each other*