@WilliamAder: Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it.
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@Ryan_Patricks: My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.
@Danny_McH2O: I met a girl that told me, "Make me laugh and I'm yours". So I pulled down my pants. Apparently, she didn't want to laugh that hard. :(