@WilliamAder: Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it.
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@sageboggs: pope: love all *everyone cheers* *he serves a tennis ball right into the crowd* pope: fifteen-love
@Breadery: I taught my daughter to whistle a few days ago and now I'm teaching her that whistling can lead to adoption.
@myles_morrison: People with profile pictures of their kids. Stop it. All I can think is, why are these toddlers trying to add me on facebook?