@Godhatespants: Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine
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@primawesome: Too bad the dinosaurs didn't have a Bruce Willisaurus to fly into space and blow that asteroid up.
@hardlyrelevant: "Oh, Monster TRUCK rally. Haha of course..." *Frankenstein slowly backs out of the room, hiding a 24 pack of condoms behind his back*
@Ygrene: "Hey nerd, who brings a friggin book to a bar?" *my eyes narrow as I close my worn copy of Advanced Techniques for Winning Barroom Brawls*
@ericonederful: Fellas, If you kill a spider while you're at her place, congratulations. You will be having sex. P.S. Bring a spider.