@FrenulumBreve: [dismissed from jury duty because I kept coughing loudly the words 'bribe me']
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@nimble__nick: CW: I like your scarf. Me: Thanks, it's a CVS receipt. I didn't know what else to do with it.
@E_lok44: [After date, walking her to her door] Her: Thanks. I would invite you in, but I don't want to.