@JohnLyonTweets: "Disney movies promote false images of the friendliness of woodland creatures," I mutter after each rabies shot.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@trojansauce: GOLDFISH: i swear i'll have your money by tomorrow GOLDFISH MOBSTER: what money? GOLDFISH: who are you? GOLDFISH MOBSTER: where's my mon
@BuckyIsotope: [deathbed] Son….come closer “Yes dad?” We need a new man of the house “I’d-” *presses fake mustache into his hands* Give this to your sister
@sarcasticmommy4: If you think you're having a bad morning, my son is crying because his sock doesn't feel right.