@WheelTod: Distraught after losing a full carton of milk, I tattooed its photo on my kid's face, in hope someone recognizes and returns it.
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@briangaar: I'm just looking for a woman who is smart, funny & can drive a getaway car tomorrow morning at 8
@gurl_sour: Forever Alone Barbie: Comes with 20 cats, and a Twitter account. Alcoholism and debilitating depression not included.
@deathoftheparty: read this from top to bottom to discover just how much movement your eyebrows are capable of