@WheelTod: Distraught after losing a full carton of milk, I tattooed its photo on my kid's face, in hope someone recognizes and returns it.
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@Mr_Kapowski: If anyone can remember the jokes from Popsicle sticks, I'll be exposed for the fraud I am
@TheToddWilliams: "As first lady you would be responsible for the White House china. Any thoughts?" MELANIA TRUMP: Oh, Donald says he's getting rid of China
@SteveSuckington: Interviewer: why did you leave your last job? Me: hmm that's a tough one. I guess I'd probably have to say listening is my biggest strength